All Posts Tagged With: "greatness"

Question for the Carmenites

This blog has become one forum for Ira Carmenites to discuss how much they thought of him.  I have had the benefit of taking courses with many extraordinary professors over the years, and in Political Science two stand above the rest.  One is Carmen, and the other is a community college professor in Decatur Illinois named Larry Klugman.  I’m also lucky that both of these greats correspond with me from time to time.  A few days ago Klugman forwarded an email to a group of his friends and asked, “If you heard on the news I was convicted of a crime, what crime would it be.”  He was very entertained by the series of answers he received.  Maybe Professor Carmen would be too.

So here’s the question:

If you heard on the news tomorrow that Ira Carmen were arrested, what crime would you be most likely to assume he committed?

Have fun with it.

George Carlin: American Radical

Check out the excellent obituary by John Nichols at the The Nation on departed humorist George Carlin. (h/t Grumblebear).

Back in the High Life Again

Today I sent Urbanagora founder Billy Joe Mills a Facebook message and noticed his profile had a link to Pandora, a wonderful free music database that plays streaming music. Billy had a link to music by one of our favorite songwriters, Warren Zevon.

He sung this version of Back in the High Life Again when his body was riddled with cancer. This is easily my favorite version of the song. Zevon passed away a few years back, but he really lived. Some might say he lived his life “Riding the Hellbound Train.” Zevon himself once said “I got to be Jim Morrison a lot longer than he did.” Anyway, here’s a link to a tribute video of Zevon over his rendition of “Back in the High Life Again.” I hope you enjoy it.

The Great Ira Carmen

If you are a U of I alum, chances are you’ve heard of the name “Ira Carmen.” He is a legend on the Urbana campus, at least in the Political Science Department. A ripe young 73, the man still runs three miles a day and regularly reminds students of his superior fitness level. He teaches various undergraduate Constitutional Law classes and a few seminars, including his specialty: Genetics and Politics (which Billy and I are taking in the Fall).
For those of you not lucky enough to attend a Carmen class, let me give you a glimpse of his one-act-show. Picture a small Jewish man with somewhat unkempt white hair wearing a neutral-colored sport coat and skinny tie. He stands at the front of the class, sometimes behind a podium, sometimes gesticulating wildly inches from the front row. He glances periodically at a yellow legal pad while lecturing about Supreme Court decisions, always including the Carmen opinion.
Known for his wit and clever remarks, he never ceases to entertain. A few Urbanagora contributors and former-students asked me to record some of his quotes from the past semester. Here are a few of my favorites:
Discussing Roe v. Wade: “I have sufficient wisdom to remember the urge to fornicate… do it at a rock concert! Don’t do it on the Supreme Court and offend my sensibilities!”
Discussing his top ten list of women (which he never actually revealed): “None of the women from your generation make my list… women of my generation knew how to act, how to dress. [Falsetto voice] ‘I want to run a corporation!’ You can run a goddamn corporation, but you’re not making my list!”
“You are moving toward elite status, and I ought to know because I am an elitist. You are moving toward elite status because you have had this opportunity to take this class! There are really good people on this campus and I’m one of them!”
“You can be brain dead at 70 and brain dead at 20. No? Consider the people you know that are brain dead.”
Stopping mid-lecture and looking out the window at a man mowing the lawn: “What’s this noise? There’s always noise on this campus interrupting my thoughts. There’s always construction going on. As if better buildings make for better instruction. I can teach you in a shit hole! We are in a shit hole!” (A few minutes later, stops mid-sentence) “I’ll out-shout that bastard!”
Discussing his old age: “My y-chromosome shrivels, thankfully not in plain view. [Pause] I won’t go any further than that.”
“Obama’s constituency is made up of blacks, young independents, and college professors… and a handful of other self-proclaimed intellectuals who I call SNOBS!”
“I consider myself an environmentalist. I have to be, I live with my wife. She’s so green it looks like she spent the last 10 years sailing the Atlantic on a life boat.”
Discussing his prediction that Clinton will take the ‘08 Democratic nomination: “The Clinton machine will grind him down. You have to drive a stake through the heart of the Clintons. Obama doesn’t have the right stake. He’s been fiddling around for it. [Falsetto voice] ‘Where’s the stake? I can’t find it!’”
“No Country For Old Men was an absolute blood bath. They should have dedicated it to Osama bin Laden.”
“I was babysitting my grandboys. They’re 8 and 9, so we give them some slack. They were watching this show- ‘The Survivor.’ You’ve got to be a goddamn moron to watch that show. They’re all over there in Micronesia. They should be marooned over there!”
This semester, Carmen received a taker for the Carmen Challenge, introduced to a class many years ago, which consists of a three mile race, best 2-out-of-3 for chess, and best 2-out-of-3 for ping pong. The challenger was a past student that many of you know, known for his liberal tendencies: “That was 10 years ago! I’m an old man now. I’ve lost more neurons than you’ve swallowed little pink ACLU pills!”
Billy has suggested that U of I post some lectures on iTunes U to eternally capture the brilliance that is Ira Carmen. Until then, we’re all keeping our fingers crossed that he sticks around for semester, year, or even decade.

"Great" Men & Their Lovers

Men society esteems as great or as leaders seem incapable of maintaining fidelity to their wives. Thanks to Katie Dunne for sharing this article on FDR’s sexual exploits entitled, “The Women the President Loved“:

The charming, pretty Lucy was employed by Eleanor Roosevelt as her social secretary in 1913. Five years later, a stricken Eleanor discovered a bundle of love letters from Lucy to her husband—at which point, Eleanor wrote, “the bottom dropped out of my particular world.” She offered Franklin a divorce, but his mother threatened to disinherit him, and his political adviser cautioned that accepting it would destroy his chances of becoming president. FDR returned to his wife, promising that he would never again share the marital bed—or see his lover, who married a man 29 years her senior.

Other adulterous historical figures of purported greatness include: Any Kennedy Man, Mahatma Gandhi, Martin Luther King Jr., Bill Clinton, Nelson Rockefeller, Michael Jordan, Frank Gifford, Eddie Murphy, Mike Bowers, François Mitterrand, Eliot Spitzer, etc. I encourage you all to add to this list.

How would society judge a powerful woman if she were to cheat on her husband? Does adultery say something about a person’s overall character that would be a legitimate assessment of their ability to be a leader? Why does society seem to give these men a free moral pass? Can anyone famous resist the waves of people who want to have sex with them or are the temptations simply too many and too great for anyone? Is there a nexus between the ego necessary to achieve a position of power and the likelihood of adultery, in other words, perhaps it is the nature of people who become famous rather than the affect the position has on their morality? Why do these men get married at all if they wish to spread their seed across the continents like cream cheese on a bagel?

Some men want everything. Springsteen once sang, “Poor man wanna be rich, rich man wanna be king and a king ain’t satisfied till he rules everything.” Men who have the egos necessary to reach levels of public power tend to be like modern Genghis Khans, simply wishing to conquer as much territory as possible, including as many women as possible. It is awful and sad and disgusting. FDR’s story made me particularly sad because of Eleanor’s pain, which is easy to feel even today. Why couldn’t he feel it? Why are some men never satisfied?


P.S. Side note about adultery laws in the U.S.:

Is a single person in an adulterous relationship guilty of adultery? All but seven states punish both people involved. Colorado, Georgia, Nebraska, North Dakota, and Utah only punish the married person. In the District of Columbia and in Michigan, when a married man sleeps with an unmarried woman, only the man is guilty, but when a married woman sleeps with an unmarried man, they’re both guilty. Most laws make no exceptions for couples who are separated or in the process of obtaining a divorce. Punishments also vary. Adultery is a felony in Massachusetts, Michigan, Oklahoma, and Idaho, and a misdemeanor everywhere else.

In practice, adultery laws matter little: Only one case–against an Alabama man–has been prosecuted in the last five years. Most states have not enforced their adultery laws since World War II.

Bad Lesbians, Debates and All My Children

Once again, the eternally admirable Dr. Paglia has her monthly column up at Salon.

Tom

Hey Hey LBJ, why’d ya hafta go away

LBJ is becoming my favorite President a little more every day. Kennedy may have sold us on progressive reform, but Johnson did the heavy lifting. I also miss White House wit. LBJ was hillarious, whether or not he meant to be. I’d like to urge the wikischolars among you to give President Johnson’s memory at least a few minutes worth of research. I was reading a collection of Johnson quotes this morning, and I wanted to share a few with the rest of you:

On Women:
I have learned that only two things are necessary to keep one’s wife happy. First, let her think she’s having her own way. And second, let her have it.

I want to make a policy statement. I am unabashedly in favor of women.

On Loyalty:
I don’t want loyalty. I want loyalty. I want him to kiss my ass in Macy’s window at high noon and tell me it smell like roses. I want his pecker in my pocket. (on hiring a potential assistant)

LBJ’s Political Wisdom:
While you’re saving your face, you’re losing your ass.

You do not examine legislation in the light of the benefits it will convey if properly administered, but in the light of the wrongs it would do and the harms it would cause if improperly administered.

If one morning I walked on top of the water across the Potomac River, the headline that afternoon would read: “President Can’t Swim.”

Jack was out kissing babies while I was out passing bills. Someone had to tend the store.

Jerry Ford is so dumb that he can’t fart and chew gum at the same time.

Why Brenda should love LBJ:
The men who have guided the destiny of the United States have found the strength for their tasks by going to their knees. This private unity of public men and their God is an enduring source of reassurance for the people of America.

LBJ says Tet is doubly worth a damn:
No member of our generation who wasn’t a Communist or a dropout in the thirties is worth a damn.

On the American Spirit:
For this is what America is all about. It is the uncrossed desert and the unclimbed ridge. It is the star that is not reached and the harvest that is sleeping in the unplowed ground.

Hey Hey LBJ, why’d ya hafta go away

LBJ is becoming my favorite President a little more every day. Kennedy may have sold us on progressive reform, but Johnson did the heavy lifting. I also miss White House wit. LBJ was hillarious, whether or not he meant to be. I’d like to urge the wikischolars among you to give President Johnson’s memory at least a few minutes worth of research. I was reading a collection of Johnson quotes this morning, and I wanted to share a few with the rest of you:

On Women:
I have learned that only two things are necessary to keep one’s wife happy. First, let her think she’s having her own way. And second, let her have it.

I want to make a policy statement. I am unabashedly in favor of women.

On Loyalty:
I don’t want loyalty. I want loyalty. I want him to kiss my ass in Macy’s window at high noon and tell me it smell like roses. I want his pecker in my pocket. (on hiring a potential assistant)

LBJ’s Political Wisdom:
While you’re saving your face, you’re losing your ass.

You do not examine legislation in the light of the benefits it will convey if properly administered, but in the light of the wrongs it would do and the harms it would cause if improperly administered.

If one morning I walked on top of the water across the Potomac River, the headline that afternoon would read: “President Can’t Swim.”

Jack was out kissing babies while I was out passing bills. Someone had to tend the store.

Jerry Ford is so dumb that he can’t fart and chew gum at the same time.

Why Brenda should love LBJ:
The men who have guided the destiny of the United States have found the strength for their tasks by going to their knees. This private unity of public men and their God is an enduring source of reassurance for the people of America.

LBJ says Tet is doubly worth a damn:
No member of our generation who wasn’t a Communist or a dropout in the thirties is worth a damn.

On the American Spirit:
For this is what America is all about. It is the uncrossed desert and the unclimbed ridge. It is the star that is not reached and the harvest that is sleeping in the unplowed ground.