Soldiers of Good
The following essay is my submission for the 2009 Nick Kristof Win-a-Trip Contest. Every year Kristof takes a student with him to Africa on a reporting trip. Of course, I lost the contest. I did not expect to win, but I have delusions of hope in all aspects of my life. Enjoy…
I am a twenty-five year old boy from the suburbs of Chicago. I am a boy, because I have never left the United States. I am a law student at the University of Illinois, but I do not hope or plan to walk a predictable path. In recent months, my legs have grown a festering itch to travel. Aside from a few small gestures, I have done little to help anyone but myself. I now set out to change.
During my undergrad years I accomplished many things that allowed my parents to brag to their friends. I was a columnist for the Daily Illini; I started a blog that has blossomed to host many contributors; I participated in 13 public policy debates; I served on many committees and started a new student organization; I won multiple awards and I finished 3 majors. In law school I worked as former Illinois Governor Jim Edgar’s research assistant and have served on other committees. None of that matters. I used to boast of these things. Today, I do not. Who did I help? Where did I travel? No one and no where. I do not feel shame or guilt; I feel inspired and burning to change.
What makes my perspective unique and interesting? Nothing. But that is my value. There are many people in my generation who have humanitarian ambitions. However, many more people in my generation have chosen the safe life. Many of these people fit my description: white, middle-class and conservative. I grew up among that large swath of Americans who prefer to shop at the suburban Woodfield Mall for five hours rather than volunteer for an hour on Chicago’s South Side.
I see a battle between good and evil in the world, as well as large groups of apathetic gray. I have written a song that conveys this sentiment. I believe in the kind of righteous might that Franklin Delano Roosevelt and John F. Kennedy have promoted. I believe in pragmatic idealism and in the humanitarian good of economic development. I went to law school to craft a sword. I have many passions and journalism has always been one. Nick Kristof’s brand of journalism is righteous might.
I recently co-founded a Chicago crime data blog that empirically investigates the ingredients of violent and property crime. Nothing turns me on more than browsing international development statistics. Many scholars have produced great research, but we need more soldiers of good. The brand of journalism that Kristof practices inspires new humanitarians in the developed world. Although praise will sound disingenuous in the context of this contest, I hope to be one of many who follow Kristof’s position in journalism. He travels to the poorest places in the world and puts his family at risk of violence in order to show the most privileged people in the world a naked glimpse of the covert cruelties that still flourish in the blood of developing societies. I hope to do the same this summer alongside Kristof and someday I will do the same even without the good fortune of his aid.
When people ask me how I am doing, I reply, “I’m always good.” I justify the improbability of my claim by explaining that I judge my condition against all human life, not just against my neighbor. I cannot think of a cogent argument for why any single human life should be more valuable than any other single human life. Trivial and artificial boundary lines prevent humanity from efficiently allocating its vast wealth. How much more good would a couple of $700 billion international aid packages do for humans than a couple of $700 billion stimulus packages? Humans are humans. Writers will convince us of this.
My generation dances on a historical fulcrum. Previous generations had substantial wealth, but my generation has enough wealth to create the luxury and the duty to help people outside of our families, our communities and our borders. My grandfather said to me that every one should leave something good for posterity. He left grandchildren and the opportunity for me to become a natural-born world saver. Watch out – I am coming. The soldiers of good are on the march.
Comment by PaulBodunk on 1 May 2009 at 1:27 pm:
And you’re surprised why you lost with this? You set yourself up as utterly unexceptional and pretentious about it to boot. . .
Comment by Billy Joe Mills on 1 May 2009 at 2:42 pm:
I am not surprised that I lost. That’s why I specifically said, “I did not expect to win…”
Thanks for your criticism.
Comment by JJAL on 1 May 2009 at 3:06 pm:
I’ve been to foreign countries … a bunch of crappy ones. Road trip to Cleveland and save yourself the hassle.
Comment by JJAL on 1 May 2009 at 3:07 pm:
Woodfield is boring. I’m an Oak Brook person myself.
Comment by Christine on 1 May 2009 at 3:22 pm:
What utter nonsense. I’m so glad we have the enlightened Mr. Mills among us to remind us of the horrifyingly banal and materialistic lives we all scurrying around living. Here’s a suggestion–take your fancy law degree and go work as a public defender to help those on the South Side that you claim to love so much. You’ll be able to afford to live among them, too, so you can spend your free time volunteering at various soup kitchens and homeless shelters. Any extra money should be sent to the poorest human beings in the world, because they are worth just as much as you are, and you shouldn’t be hoarding anything when others have so little.
Something tells me you’ll forgo that route in favor of a cushy condo and a $160,000/year salary. How ironic.
Mr. Mills, I fear you are turning into the idealistic tripe you used to condemn on this blog; how terrifying.
Comment by James Win on 1 May 2009 at 4:41 pm:
I’d like to first apologize to the other writers for taking up so much space.
Billy,
This is my first time on Urbanagora. I enjoyed reading your essay though, having perused your other writing, it is not your best (such as your piece on Santelli although I disagree with you profoundly. My views are encompassed mostly by Donny Deutch but this is a seperate discussion).
I like how you move from talking about yourself to what your worldview, experiences, etc. mean to this broader idea of service. The second to last sentence in paragraphs 5 and 6 have an elegant quality that is lacking elsewhere. I like the direction you take but not how you convey your thoughts. Example:The first two sentences are not engaging and would fit better at the end of the second paragraph.
Overall, I want to know more about how YOU are going to walk a diffent path and become a world saver.
Kudos on Urbanagora. I shall tune in more often. Also, if you are sincere about what you wrote, TRAVEL! You should travel this summer and take your Illinois Bar materials with you. Since graduating, I’ve been to London, Bangkok and traveled throughout Burma. In 24hrs., I’ll be in Quito with my little sis who’s studying abroad there. I’m saying this so you can be jealous. If you’re interested in volunteering, Chicago Illini Club reads to kids at Goudy Elemantary school on the North Side. There are more effective ways to volunteer but it’s fun! JW
Comment by Billy Joe Mills on 1 May 2009 at 5:46 pm:
Thanks for your comments. I do appreciate them, even if they are a bit harsh at times :)
For full disclosure, I have spent two weeks in Italy since writing this essay and I am planning to do a lot more during the course of my life.
Christine, it is an open question whether I will do good in my life. I don’t know that I will. I hope to and my best instincts speak to its necessity. To clarify, I have no problems with “idealistic tripe.” I do have problems with idealistic means that try to accomplish idealistic ends. That is fundamentally why I am a conservative and not a liberal.
Comment by Billy Joe Mills on 1 May 2009 at 5:47 pm:
JJAL was not harsh, just hilarious as usual.
Comment by by any other name on 1 May 2009 at 10:39 pm:
narcissistic much?
Comment by Billy Joe Mills on 2 May 2009 at 12:16 am:
I failed in communicating something important in this essay. Based on the responses, I have now realized how badly I failed…It’s true that in the past I have been proud of accomplishments, but I’m not anymore. In fact, they are embarrassing because I no longer consider them to be accomplishments. That’s why I wrote, “Who did I help? Where did I travel? No one and no where. I do not feel shame or guilt; I feel inspired and burning to change.” I didn’t help anyone but myself and I’m now somewhat angry about that. I guess I tried to emphasize things I have done in the past in order to emphasize their uselessness, not to brag or to be narcissistic. But who knows…perhaps I cannot escape narcissism even when I try to criticize my past decisions. You could be right. It’s difficult to disentangle my psychology.
Comment by Billy Joe Mills on 2 May 2009 at 7:58 am:
Oh, and in my own defense, Kristof’s instructions for the contest said, “If you’ve done blogging, vlogging or journalism, be sure to mention that. Ditto for anything else that makes you special or will make your voice more memorable.” I was applying for something and I did try to show my resume while simultaneously criticizing it. Doesn’t everyone try to show their accomplishments when they apply for something? It seems to be a necessary tactic for gaining whatever you are applying for.
Comment by John Monchhichi on 3 May 2009 at 11:13 am:
I remain deeply suspicious of this “I am a conservative” stuff coming out of Billy Joe. Most conservatives would throw a social liberal who believes in cutting defense spending in half right out of the tent.
Comment by Billy Joe Mills on 4 May 2009 at 1:25 am:
John, Conservatives don’t want a minimal federal government? Conservatives contradict themselves when it comes to defense spending. I do not. I am consistent in my belief of minimal government.
Comment by Barry G. (as opposed to Barry O.) on 4 May 2009 at 8:10 pm:
Son, we haven’t met, but I think it’s time you found yourself a new philosophical label.
Comment by Billy Joe Mills on 5 May 2009 at 10:31 pm:
I intend on writing a book about what it means to be a conservative in my generation. It might be called, “Classical Liberalism: A New Conservatism for My Generation.”
Comment by Tim on 7 May 2009 at 5:33 pm:
I do not think that conservatives want smaller government, just different big government. This has never been more apparent than today.
I further do not think that you are a “classical liberal,” nor do I think your book trying to reconcile conservatism with classical liberalism will go anywhere. In the days of classical liberalism, it was the statist “conservatives” (they were called “Federalists” then) that were the philosophical enemies of the “liberal” Anti-Federalists.
I definitely enjoyed reading your article, although it seems to me to be an apology for your conservative views and some sort of outreach. I’ve seen this in other posts of yours, too.
I just think you’ve spent too much time at a university where your views are neither tolerated or popular. I can’t say I really blame you for trying to reach out, either, as the modern-day Red state/blue state crap needs to end in our generation; it is unsustainable and politically unproductive.
With that said, I don’t think the path for your ideas (which, as you already know, are more different than similar to mine) is to prove how socially progressive you can be in order to reach out to the Obamaites.
Whatever value your ideas have, it is in their objective worth for society. They need not be reshaped to fit the demands of others who hold different views. Your ideas contain a glimmer of hope for people who have observed the failures of other ideas with which neither you or I agree. I think that’d be a far better starting point than apologizing for your success and reaching out to a group of intellectually-powerful social progressives that are not like either of us.
Of course, as usual, my comments are worth what you paid for them, but I enjoy reading/commenting anyway.
Comment by Billy Joe Mills on 8 May 2009 at 12:12 am:
Tim,
I’m not trying to reach out to anyone. I’m not a politician. I’m not trying to prevent anyone from crying. I just wrote down what I believed at that moment.
Comment by Tim on 8 May 2009 at 1:23 am:
I’m talking about you in general, Billy. You’re the type to avoid conflict; I’ve observed it. That’s all “fine and good,” but I really think your best work is when you put aside the apologies and let loose.
Your pieces on music or other issues never have the level of moderation that your politics have.
And you’re not a politician…yet. I could see you doing it….whereas someone like me couldn’t get elected if uncontested.
Comment by Billy Joe Mills on 8 May 2009 at 8:23 am:
I don’t have moderate political views because I fear conflict. I have moderate political views because I believe with intensity and honesty that they are correct.
Anyway, Tim, thanks for your comments.