News, as read from a computer screen delivered by Tom’sNewsFeed, powered by Google:
Washington, DC–(AP) Mitt Romney called Clinton/Obama headquarters at 2:17 this morning to congatulate President-elect Clinton on her victory when it became obvious that no matter who received the Texas electoral votes, the victory belonged to the Democratic candidate. If Texas goes for the Republicans, as expected, the final tally will be 456-82, with the Romney-Thompson ticket carrying only the Central Mountain states, the Gulf minus Louisiana and Tennessee. Most of the House and Senate races were not even close, with the Democratic Party picking up 12 Senate seats as well as 30 in the House of Representatives. Hillary, accompanied on the podium by a smiling Bill Clinton, pledged “peace with honor” in Iraq in a speech eerily echoing Richard Nixon.
Charleston, WV–(Salon.com) Salon sent correspondents to this Appalachian college town to attempt to make some sense of the watershed results of yesterday’s election. The exit polls had predicted a much closer race, and the National Election Pool, the company used by the major news organizations, is pledging a revamp of its techniques and statistical methods to improve its accuracy. Interviews found interesting trends, however, that could explain the reasons for the Republican rout. In front of his Baptist Church, Harry MacArthur made a wide arc in the air before him and said, “Nobody from this church voted yesterday, out of protest. How dare the elites in New York and Hollywood present us with two liberal candidates. It was an insult to true Americans.” Near the football stadium, two African-Amercian students, bundled against the stiff north wind, smiled and gave each other high-fives, “It was about time that something shook up the country. We couldn’t stand Hillary, but Obama strikes me as the way of the future, and there was no way he could have gotten elected directly, being a black man.” Randy Wilcox, in a trailer-park on the edge of town represented the protest vote,” Had the Republicans nominated Ron Paul, rather than some guy from Massachusetts, they might have had a chance. The entire system is corrupt. I voted for Clinton, figuring that she’s going to screw things up so badly, that the country will be ripe for revolution by the time that she’s done. Just wait, people get the kind of government that they deserve.”
Meyrin, Switzerland–(Reuters) Director Robert Aymar announced that the CMS experiment at the Large Hadron Collider at CERN had found signals indicating the existence of the Higgs Boson, one of the key missing elements of the Standard Model of Particle Physics. The mass is expected to be around 140 Gev, but more exact figures await the collection of years of data.
Seattle, WA–(Gamespy.com) Jeremy Dunham, Gamespot’s Managing Editor called 2008 the Golden Age of Gaming. “Thousands of technophiles have upgraded their computers to play Bioshock, Age of Conan or Fallout 3. Our reviewers have declared, after seeing the new generation of hardware acceleration, that the games on our screens actually look ‘better than reality.’” Chip manufacturers worldwide are recycling their new share of profits into R&D in an attempt to keep up with designers in an ever-widening spiral as gamers demand more and more for their money.
Edinburgh, Scotland–(Reuters) The Royal College of Surgeons announced that it had succeeded in creating the first human/animal hybrid embryos. These embryos are planned to be used to provide stem cells for specific diseases, then destroyed. A spokesman said that there are no plans to allow any to develop to viability. Harold Walton of the Ministry of Defense mentioned in an aside in a press conference later that there may be the possibility of their use to improve the senses of British soldiers currently on station in Afganistan to enhance their safety in the field. Pope Benedict, speaking from the Vatican, condemned the advance, calling it a “perversion of the gifts of God.”
London, England–(Reuters) The head of the Ministry of Health announced that to ensure enough availability for the healthy in Great Britain, health care would be curtailed or denied to those Britons who insisted in pursuing unhealthy lifestyles. “The system, at the point of collapse, can no longer afford”, he said, “to take care of those who smoke a pack of cigarettes a day, eat fast food for lunch and then go to the pub all evening.” Seven protesters were arrested outside of Eston Hall where he made the speech. President-elect Clinton, when asked if her proposals for health coverage would have similar restrictions, said that she would, “watch the experiences of the British and Canadian health systems closely.”
London, England–(AP) Amnesty Internation accused the Chinese government of imprisoning tens of thousands of political dissidents and Christian activists during the 2008 Olympic games this past summer. The Chinese government denied that such prisoners even existed, challenging the international organization to produce one photo of a prisoner presently being held for those reasons.
Chicago, Illinois–(AP) Today’s election issue will be the last one for the Chicago Sun-Times. The city’s oldest newspaper, published continuously since 1844 (when it was incorporated as the Chicago Evening Journal) could no longer, in the words of its publisher, “compete with the free cost and ubiquity of internet news.” The newspaper, home to such award-winning writers as Roger Ebert and Mike Royko, had been suffering decreasing revenues since it raised its cover price by 50 percent in the summer of 2007.
Tom (age 56)