News, as read on a computer screen from The Drudge Report:
Washington, DC–(AP) Hillary Clinton and Mitt Romney may have sewn up their parties’ nominations for President. Their large margins of victory over their closest opponents would have guaranteed the nomination under normal circumstances, but the DNC has vowed to pursue a floor fight against seating half of the delegates elected prior to the Iowa caucus and New Hampshire primary. The chairman of the Republican National Committee still refuses to comment on the issue, saying that they are taking a “wait and see” attitude.
Beijing, China–(Xinhua) The Chinese government continues to take actions to counter the drastic drop in Chinese growth due to their economy’s catastrophic loss from the American mortgage disaster. While the annual growth rate is only 2% at the present time, officials stated that the 2008 Summer Olympics, scheduled to begin in less than five months, should provide a needed boost to the nation’s balance of trade.
Bentonville, Arkansas–(AP) Elinore Dosik vowed today to continue the nation-wide boycott of Wal-Mart until they completely remove Chinese goods from their shelves. Her organization, Mothers Against Dangerous Goods (MADG) now enters the second month of the protest, which has emptied the stores of the world’s largest private employer throughout the United States and Great Britain of shoppers. WMT stock is expected to be sharply off in trading in world markets with expected first quarter sales a full 25% below last year at this time. An unnamed corporate source stated that “Malaysia and the Phillipines are looking better and better all the time.” Chinese officials have accused the US government of repeatedly exaggerating reports of defective goods.
Washington, DC–(Reuters) The unemployment rate continues to be stable at 4.5% despite the loss over the last eighteen months of close to 30% from the median value of a home in the hardest-hit states. Bush administration officials point to this low jobless rate as proof that the American economy is still strong despite Democratic claims to the contrary.
El Paso, TX–(MyWayNews.com) Immigration officials have not been able to successfully explain the 20% reduction in arrests on the border over the last three months. Sheriff Clay Atkins of nearby San Elizario, in a noon news conference, stated that “they’re gone–either they’ve dug a tunnel somewhere or are flying over–we’re just not seeing the kind of human traffic to which we’ve become accustomed.”
Baghdad, Iraq–(AP) The first US army brigade to leave Iraq closed up shop at their headquarters and headed for the US today. General David Petraeus hailed this redeployment as a sign that the Iraqi government is at last capable of handling the responsibility for security within Anbar province. Senator Harry Reid of Nebraska welcomed the returning unit at their home base and thanked them for their service. In a statement issued later, he claimed that “these soldiers’ obvious exhaustion is a sign that our brave fighting men have been exploited under the Bush Administration.” Simultaneous with the re-deployment, an upsurge of terrorist violence has struck Anbar in the last week, with casualties due to car bombings up by 100 over this time last month. Iran has been blamed for this surge, even though car bombings have traditionally been a weapon of the Sunni resistance. Local citizens claim that US air strikes aimed at eliminating the terrorist headquarters responsible for these attacks caused damage to a local mosque when missles went astray.
Geneva, Switzerland–(AP) Representatives of the Union Bank of Switzerland continued to refuse to comment on the rumor that a criminal gang from Romania had managed to crack the encryption on their accounts and steal over a billion dollars from their Geneva branch. “The assets of depositors have never been safer,” the bank president assured reporters in a news conference held at the corporate office of UBS–AG. Cybersecurity officials stated that the criminal organization, known as the Bucharest Chess Club, first linked 25 million computers worldwide into a parallel network using the Naughty Tentacle worm, then ran decryption algorithms until they were successful.
Tallin, Estonia–(Reuters) The Estonian Minister of Defense said today that his nation’s decision to not deploy US/NATO anti-missle defenses within Estonian borders is not due to pressure from Russia, but instead because his nation feels secure in the safety and security in modern Europe. The US Ambassador, expressing disappointment, said that while he understood the right of the Baltic nation to change its mind, it was a blow to the defense of Northern Europe from terrorist ambitions.
Tom (age 55)